What It's Like to Write a Novel



No one except novelists knows what it’s like to write a novel. Most people aren't aware that the process requires months or even years of unpaid labor with no guarantee of financial return. Because I am concerned about the welfare of people generally, I feel duty-bound to provide an understanding of what is required of novelists so they may be properly appreciated by the general public.


The following story illustrates the process novelists experience:


You arrive at the appointed location for a blind date. It's a stage at the front of an empty assembly hall. You’re given a blindfold and a set of ear muffs and are led to one of two chairs facing each other at the center of the stage.

You sit on one of the chairs and put on the blindfold and earmuffs, as instructed.

You don’t know when your date arrives, or even if he or she ever does. Your only choice is to speak or to remain quiet.

You eventually begin to speak.

You speak for days. Days drag to weeks. Weeks drag into months. Maybe years. Did your date ever sit down? Did twenty-five more dates arrive?

After weeks, months, or years, you remove your blindfold and ear muffs. Will the stage and assembly hall be empty, or will piles of people be clamoring over each other to get a closer look at you and perhaps even touch your clothing?

Writing a novel, Part II

We haven't yet gotten to the hard part yet. After completing your first major work, no one on Earth will know it exists. The greatest masterwork ever created will never make a sale until the world learns of it. To help get my point here, watch this video.


A successful author must do two things:

  1. Create a quality, demand-driven product, and

  2. Tell the world about it.

The latter is where most authors fail. At some point you will come to realize that you will require a professional marketing expert to help you broadcast your work to the world.


More on this in another blog post. I don't want you to be too depressed, yet.

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