Get your hooks in them

You probably know that you must hook your readers at the beginning of your stories.  But did you know that your stories require a series of hooks to keep your readers turning pages?  This is good because it’s better for them to read your stories than to eat, sleep, or go to work.

It’s like dating, where the girl keeps getting her hooks in you.

If you’ve ever had someone put down one of your books halfway through (or had a boy dump you), the following list may explain what happened:

Your Book	Dating
If readers quit after the first page: No unmet expectations were shown. No problem was either presented, alluded to, or foreshadowed.	If your date turns down a second date: The initial desire to be with the person wasn’t sufficiently felt. Conversations didn't go beyond the superficial.
If readers quit after pages 15 to 25: The author’s voice didn’t match what the readers expected. Readers weren’t given a reason to care or keep going.  The story didn’t generate curiosity. There was too much emotional distance.  The story didn’t solicit an emotional response.	If your date declines after several dates: You weren't compatible. There wasn’t sufficient mutual attraction and interest felt between the parties. Emotional armor between parties prevented a sufficient emotional connection.
If readers quit between pages 30 and 100: The story was too predictable. The characters’ progression stagnated. The increasing stakes hit a plateau.  No new complications or reasons to worry were provided.	If your date dumps you several months: Your date finally realizes you’re just like everyone else. You aren’t sufficiently committed to adapting to each other. There wasn't sufficient hope for further progress in the relationship.
If readers quit after 200 pages: The story led to an underwhelming solution or insufficient payoff. The character went too far out of character.  The story provided a tonal shift. The readers feared that the story would offer a convenient resolution that would come out of nowhere.	If your date dumps you after a year: You’re passé, uncommittable, and have never solved any problem on your own.

Be sure to never do what is described above.  To help you accomplish this, print out copies of this table and tape them to the wall above your computer monitor and onto your bathroom mirror.

The first hook

To present this post from being ten pages long and coming dangerously close to the second hook, we'll focus on the first-page hook. That should be enough for a first date.

The first hook is achieved by introducing the reader to the character's initial unmet expectations and showing either a problem or alluding to or foreshadowing one.

To show you how a famous master does it, I've provided below the first page of Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre, published in 1847, set roughly between 1808 and 1820.

I’ve highlighted in yellow where Jane’s expectations are not met (e.g., disappointments, frustrations). I’ve highlighted in cyan where her problems are shown, alluded to, or foreshadowed:

First page of Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë

There was no possibility of taking a walk that day.  We had been wandering, indeed, in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning; but since dinner (Mrs. Reed, when there was no company, dined early) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber, and a rain so penetrating, that further outdoor exercise was now out of the question.

I was glad of it: I never liked long walks, especially on chilly afternoons: dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight, with nipped fingers and toes, and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie, the nurse, and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza, John, and Georgiana Reed.

The said Eliza, John, and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama in the drawing room: she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside, and with her darlings about her (for the time neither quarrelling nor crying) looked perfectly happy.  Me, she had dispensed from joining the group; saying, ‘She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a distance; but that until she heard from Bessie, and could discover by her own observation, that I was endeavoring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition, a more attractive and sprightly manner— something lighter, franker, more natural, as it were—she really must exclude me from privileges intended only for contented, happy, little children.’

Who doesn’t want to give Jane a long hug and take her out for some ice cream?

You must notice the following points from Charlotte Brontë’s first page:

• Jane provides nothing too showy or overdramatic.  No over-the-top violence.  No plague outbreak.

• The prose feels natural, genuine, and unhurried, as if she is already our friend.

• No heavy backstory infodump or deep dive into her lifelong problems.

• Between the lines, Jane alludes to a hope for a life in which she might be better appreciated.

Isn’t that a description of a perfect first date?

Open up one of your favorite novels and highlight on its first page the sentences that either show unmet expectations or introduce, allude to, or foreshadow a problem.

Why novels start this way 

The question in our minds right now is, why is this how the telling of our stories begins?

Starting with a problem or unmet desire creates emotional tension (magnetism) that prompts the reader to turn the page.

Many novels start by showing the character’s normal life that is disrupted by whatever befalls him or her.  This is a good approach, but the "normal life" part must be brief—one page maximum.  When your date asks you how it’s going in your life, keep your answer to well under a minute.

But somewhere on the first page, suggest the existence of a problem.  Present it lightly, like, “Oh, by the way, my parents were murdered.  So, what would you like to order for dinner?”

This hook is to attract attention, not bury your readers under a chapter of whining.

Then, when your date says, “Wait—hold on. Back up! What happened to your parents?”  That’s when your reader turns to the next page.

Pitfalls to watch out for

As your characters are in the process of baring their souls, make sure you don’t make the following blunders:

• Don’t jump the gun.  Reveal your story at the pace your readers can handle.

“But what’s wrong with a good shock?” you ask.

Maybe, if you’re an expert.  But follow it quickly with some calming space for the surprise to sink in.  You want your readers (or your date) to join you.  You can’t push them around with bats, metal rods, and Tasers.

(By the way, the word Taser is an acronym for “Thomas A. Swift’s Electric Rifle.”  The inventor of the Taser, Jack Cover, named it after his favorite book series from childhood.  Just so you know.)

• Watch out for information without context.  Before telling your date that your brother is in prison for robbery, you can ask, “Do you have any disreputable people in your family?”  That’s the kind of question that gets attention.  Then, after a few minutes of conversation where your date’s at the edge of her seat, you can tell her about your brother.

• When walking your dog, don’t get ahead of him.  Let him lead you.  One of the greatest magical parts of fiction is having your readers tell you, “Give me more!”  Give them just enough at any given moment to mostly satisfy them, but at the same time make them want more.

You may be thinking you already know this.  Then write like it!  With every sentence you write, ask yourself,

“Will this cause my readers to be

even more interested in my story?”

“How can I possibly do this?” you ask.

It's done with practice.  Write as often as you can about anything.  I always carry folded-up paper in my back pocket wherever I go.  When a thought or a way of writing something comes to my mind, I write it down immediately.  If I don’t, I’ll forget the thought forever.

The usefulness of social gatherings

How about trying this approach: At your next social gathering, somehow weave into your conversation that you write stories.  This will immediately get people’s attention.  Then, when everyone’s looking at you, take out your paper where you have written what you think is a great sentence, and read it to them.  Just one sentence.  They’ll let you know what they think of it.

If they say, “What happens next?” then you know you have a good sentence.  If you tell them, “I don’t want to pester you with more,” and they respond with, “You can’t leave us hanging!” then congratulate yourself on your fantastic work and change the subject to something more interesting, like politics.

If they still insist on hearing more, tear off a piece of paper and write a link to where one of your books can be purchased.  With luck, your new fan will be the second cousin of a chief editor at Penguin Random House.