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Funny Rocks

Updated: Nov 29, 2023

Given the growing number of satirical websites that provide highly realistic information, I thought I would try my hand at such a literary piece. I learned from completing this exercise that writing comedy requires mastery of all the rules of comedy and of writing.


I give you my first satirical article:



Funny Rocks No Laughing Matter

Diamonds aren’t forever anymore. No one anticipated that the newly discovered "funny rocks" would crack up women’s jewelry worldwide. Homely but humorous is now the diamond standard.


The drab but affable anodes are affecting more than only the jewelry market:

  • Alcoholic drink industry is depressed because funny rocks are preferred over liquors.

  • U.S. Armed Forces seek soldiers who are immune to weaponized funny rocks.

  • Clothing designers now provide hidden pockets for funny rocks.

  • Jurors are checked for funny rocks because judges get angry when they lose control of the courtroom

  • Prisoners demand funny rocks in their cells.

  • The funny rock smuggling industry is a growing threat.

  • The government established a four-tier Funny Rock Classification System:

D = Diverting

C = Jocular

B = Humdinger

A = Side-splitting

  • Schools and mortuaries are increasingly becoming funny rock-free zones.

  • Sad countries with few funny rocks receive funny rock shipments from countries with more funny rocks.

  • Funny rocks are prohibited within ten yards of aircraft cockpits.

  • Nefarious golfers use funny rocks to distract their competitors.

  • Comedians are strip-searched to make sure they’re not carrying funny rocks so they can’t cheat.

  • The most expensive funny rocks worn by rich movie stars are those that are funny and pretty.

“I accepted Zach’s marriage proposal because

he had funny rocks in his backyard

and didn’t even know it.

He’s so sweet.”

Darlene Lichen, Hot Springs, Oklahoma


Funny rocks are most often found in areas where they must survive the brutal rigors of nature, such as the middle of Death Valley in the hottest summer months.


The funniest rocks are kept in museums behind specially treated whoop-suppressing glass.


Scientists can’t examine funny rocks because they can’t take them seriously.

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